I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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