im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
