Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
