oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
