I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
