sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
