I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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