Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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