Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
