People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
