Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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