i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You may now shotgun with the bride
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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