i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
