4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's blow job season.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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