I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Watching her eat just hurts me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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