Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
