but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize