I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
