I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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