glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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