Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
