I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
