I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
