UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
