Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
