Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize