the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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