I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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