she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
