Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
