bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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