his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
