I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
