you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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