It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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