Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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