I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize