Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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