Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
