no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
