think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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