I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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