So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
