she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
