So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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