so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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