who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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