Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
