She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
