4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
love makes seman taste better
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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