well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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