pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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