Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
