Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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