I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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