Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize