3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
