airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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